Dating Safety Tips
The mission of Cottonwood Connection is to connect singles in a variety of
fun, creative and interesting ways. But we also want to help promote a
safe and comfortable environment in the process. Therefore we have
assembled this guide to help you avoid uncomfortable situations and increase
your safety when dating. Please read it carefully and refer to it
frequently.
- Start your relationship with a telephone call rather than a face-to-face
meeting. This puts you both in a non-pressured situation and allows you to
ask plenty of questions to help you learn more about personality, ability to
communicate, social skills and other information. You will be then be
better equipped to decide whether this person is right for you.
- Agree to a face-to-face meeting only if you feel completely comfortable
based on your phone conversation(s) that you want to move to the next step.
Meet only when you are ready.
- For the first meeting (and all subsequent meetings until you feel completely
comfortable), arrange to meet in a busy public place, preferably in the daytime.
For maximum safety, don’t invite your date to your home and don’t go to your
date’s house. It is also best to avoid situations where others may not be
around. While hiking, biking and drives to remote places may be fun, they
put you in a vulnerable position where your safety may be compromised.
- Always tell someone where you will be going, who you will be going with and
when you expect to return home. Call if your plans change. For
convenience, take along a mobile phone.
- Until you get to know your date, provide your own transportation to and from
the date. If driving a car, make sure you have plenty of gas. Have a
friend as back-up in the event of car problems. And in general, it’s a
good idea to bring enough extra money to cover any unexpected expenses.
- Think about the level of intimacy you want, especially in the beginning
stages of a relationship and clearly state your limits. This will help
prevent miscommunication later.
- Be on guard for behavior which could indicate your date may compromise your
safety then or in the future. Displays of anger, intense frustration,
attempts at pressuring or trying to control you, making demeaning, inappropriate
or disrespectful comments about you or others of the opposite sex, are all red
flags which are cause for alarm.
- Never allow yourself to be put in a position of doing or saying something
which goes against your beliefs and values. When you’re in a situation you’re
not comfortable with, use your best judgment and try to defuse things. Or
if you don’t feel comfortable doing that or things are still going downhill
after you’ve tried, just leave. Excuse yourself as quickly as possible, drive
away or hail a cab. If you think you are in danger, call the police.
And don’t second guess your actions and wonder if you did the right thing.
Better safe than sorry.
- Trust your instincts. If things didn’t go well on your first or
subsequent meetings with your date or if you feel uneasy about your experiences
with your date, don’t arrange future dates. The items mentioned in #7 are red
flags, but there may be others too. When evaluating your overall
experiences with your date, you should consider the following:
- Your date’s attitude about your needs and requests for safety
- How open your date is in conversation
- How frequently and in what tone your date refers to family, friends,
business and personal acquaintances
- Whether your date has introduced you to family and other acquaintances
- Whether your date provides consistent information about such things as age,
interests and work.
- Inconsistencies in information, guarded responses to questions,
reluctance to introduce you to family and friends and lack of understanding
about your need for safety all indicate you may not be in the best and safest
dating situation.
- If you feel the person you met may be a candidate to harm you, others or
themselves, please contact Cottonwood Connection immediately to discuss the
situation.
|
